Connor: I don't know what it is she's afraid of. It's like she always thinks the bottom will drop out.
Vivi: I think you know why she thinks that, don't you, honey? Because it did. It always did.
Conspiracy Brother: Jesus Christ: black man. Babe Ruth: black man. Madonna: ... slept with black men.
Yelena: Xander? Remember what I told you before, when you kissed me?
Xander Cage: Never again?
Yelena: I lied.
Col. Werner Visser: Strange thing about war wounds - the older you get, the less proud of them you become.
Billy Flynn: Now look, I don't like to blow my own horn. But believe me. If Jesus Christ lived in Chicago today and if he had $5,000 and he'd come to me, things would have turned out differently.
Frank Martin: All right, that's enough juice for now.
Eddie Griffin: You know, high school's a lot like prison. Bad food, high fences. The sex you want you ain't gettin', and the sex you getting you don't want.
Lanie: I met a homeless guy and he had a vision.
Cal: What like Espn?
Lanie: No, he had ESP! There's no N.
Dr. Ben Sobel: I am grieving. It's a process.
Reed Thimple: Do you like the sound of crunching wood? I do.
Pistachio Disguisey: Am I not turtley enough for the turtle club. Turtle, turtle, turtle.
Snowbell: You've got guts, kid! And you've got spunk! Not to mention moxy! You've got guts, spunk, and moxy.
Numérobis: Raté, vous nous avez raté! Eh les romains, vous êtes des romaines .
A.O. Neville: If only they would understand what we are trying to do for them.
Ali G: Sorry I iz late, bu dere was a documentry on about monkeys.
Tracey Reynolds: Calvin, I think you should stick to basketball. You know why? You can't rap.
Randy: She is the sexist sheriff in the whole country.
Frank Slaughtery: You know, you're wearing a striped shirt with a striped tie, you know that, right?
Phelan: Yeah, I do it for the ladies.
Frank Slaughtery: Oh - the ladies ever tell you that you look like a fucking optical illusion?
Phelan: Yeah?
Frank Slaughtery: Go away, disappear... come on.
Phelan: I'm outta here.
Michelle Bain: I believe that secular entertainment is one of the biggest tools that Satan uses to mislead people.