Megan: Every month, when the moon is full, they hunt as a team. Dedicated to the kill. During that time, at least fifteen people have vanished. Hikers mostly. In small groups or alone. They're caught out in the open, hunted down, torn apart and devoured. I've never witness the actual slaughter, but the next day, no bodies, no werewolves, just blood.
Sean Bateman: I just want to know you.
Lauren: Nobody knows anyone. You will never ever know me.
Bob Crane: I think it's perfect for me. I mean, this character Hogan, he's quick on his toes, he's hip, he's a con artist. I don't wanna jinx it, but I think it's what I've been working toward my whole career.
Anne Crane: Really? You've been working towards a Holocaust comedy?
Bob Crane: Ann.
Anne Crane: What, Bob?
Bob Crane: Please, not in front of the children! They look up to me.
Anne Crane: They're small. They look up to everyone.
Ben Carpenter: C'mon, you mother. Come to papa.
Buttercup: Get your hands off him, you darn dirty ape.
Max Rothman: I've seen the future. Believe me, it came straight at us. There's no future in the future.
Christabel LaMotte: I cannot let you burn me up, nor can I resist you. No mere human can stand in a fire and not be consumed.
Tony Wilson: You know, I think that Shaun Ryder is on a par with W.B. Yeats as a poet.
Yvette: Really?
Tony Wilson: Absolutely. Totally.
Yvette: Well, that is amazing, considering everyone else thinks he's a fucking idiot.
Lance: The chair broke.
Catherine: Oh, eww, this arugal is so bitter! It'l like my algebra teacher on my bread.
Zé Pequeno: Can you read?
Gang Member: I can read only the pictures.
Steve Irwin: That was a close one.
Mr. O'Connor: You've got no home. You have no mother. You got no father. You killed us, you slut. You killed us both.
Khamtay: Why would you buy me those?
Jeffrey Dahmer: Because I like to do nice things for people. Makes me feel good about myself.
Khamtay: Are you some kind of nut?
Jeffrey Dahmer: That's sad.
Khamtay: What?
Jeffrey Dahmer: That we've gotten to a point where doing nice things for people is considered insane.
Val: ...driving around his 1938 Vintage Roadster. If someone saw me in a vintage '38, they'd think I was Himmler.
Lewis Bartholomew: I was wrong about you, Mrs. Lambert. Meeting the widow of a man like Lake, well, I was expecting a siren, a harpy, a shrew. But you, you have decency, dignity, what my father called gumption.
Regina Lambert: I'm very touched. You are actually quite sweet for a stars and bars company man, aren't you?
Lewis Bartholomew: You've discovered my secret side Mrs. Lambert. Keep it under your hat. Boo.
Daniel's 'Boss': People don't need my intervention.
Daniel: If people don't need your intervention, how did the salvation army get all the money, and Kermit and his friends get to keep the theater, and Miss Bitterman nothing but her own greed?
Daniel's 'Boss': Danny-al, I work in mysterious ways.
Nadine: I read somewhere once that everything in life happens in threes. And that there are two kinds of people, the ones that think three's the charm and the ones that think in three strikes you're out.
Rachael's Mom: Sweet Jesus, it smelled like someone died in here.