Robin Williams: The poor Canadian snowboarder, in the 1998 Olympics, they took away his medal because he tested positive for marijuana, which is kinda redundant number one, number two, they said that marijuana was a "performance-enhancing drug." Marijuana enhances many things, colors, flavors, sensations, but you are certainly not fucking empowered. When you're stoned, you're lucky if you can find your own goddamn feet. The only way it's a performance-enhancing drug is if there's a big fucking Hershey bar at the end of the run. Then you'll be like a Swiss ski jumper going, "I'm there!"
Jamie: Are you trying to seduce me?
Landon: Why? Are you seducible?
Sergeant Ernie Savage: Beautiful morning, Sergeant.
Sergeant Major Basil Plumley: What are you a fucking weatherman now?
Bill: He was the only man I ever killed worth remembering.
Elvis: Uh, Mr. President... You're on the floor.
JFK: No shit?
Will: Once you open your door to one person anyone can come in.
Spirit: There was no end to the strange ways on the two-leggeds.
Iris Hineman: If the unintended consequences of a series of genetic mistakes and science gone haywire can be called 'invention', then yes, I invented Precrime. (00:57:50)
Meg: Open the door so I can give her the shot.
Burnham: If we open the door you'll shoot us.
Meg: So give her the shot yourself.
Ellie Burr: A good cop can't sleep because he's missing a piece of the puzzle. And a bad cop can't sleep because his conscience won't let him.
Dr. Scott: You don't want to hurt anyone.
Samara Morgan: But I do, and I'm sorry. It won't stop. Everyone will suffer.
Pancha: Like my grandmother used to say, "There's no better dressing than meat on bones."
Reggie: You don't have a forehead... you have a five-head.
John Nichols: When the government turns tyrannical, it is your duty to overthrow it.
Michael Moore: Why not use Gandhi's way? He didn't have guns, and he beat the British Empire.
John Nichols: I'm not... familiar with that.
Doctor Doppler: Just wait until we tell your mother about this! Of course, we may downplay the life-threatning parts.
Adina: I have a FAT ass.
Diego Rivera: Thank you.
Frida Kahlo: For what?
Diego Rivera: For making a fat, old, crazy Communist a happy man.