John McClane: Oh, you're in charge. Well, I got news for you, Dwayne. From up here, it doesn't look like you're in charge of jack shit.
Dwayne Robinson: You listen to me, you little asshole.
John McClane: Asshole"? I'm not the one who just got butt-fucked on national TV, *Dwayne*.
John McClane: A hundred million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill one with feet smaller than my sister.
John McClane: Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.
Chief Dwayne: Now you listen to me, mister. I don't know who the hell you think you are or what you're doing, but you just destroyed a building! Now we do not want your help, is that clear? We don't want your help. I've got a 100 people down here and they are covered with glass!
John McClane: Glass? Who gives a shit about glass?
[John throws a body onto a cop car to get his attention.]
John McClane: Welcome to the party, pal!
[McClane is trying to call the police for help.]
Policewoman: Sir, this line is for emergencies only.
John McClane: No fucking shit, lady! Do I sound like I'm ordering a pizza?!
John McClane: Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs.
Harry Ellis: Hans, bubby, I'm your white knight.
Hans Gruber: I must have missed 60 Minutes. What are you saying?
Harry Ellis: You know that guy that's fucking things up upstairs? I can give him to you.
Terrorist: You won't hurt me
John McClane: Oh yeah? Why not?
Terrorist: Because you're a policeman. There are rules for policemen.
John McClane: Oh Yeah? So my captain keeps telling me.
Hans Gruber: "Now I have a machine gun. Ho. Ho. Ho."
Hans Gruber: And what idiot put you in charge?
Holly Gennero: You did. When you murdered my boss.
Terrorist: They're using artillery on us!
Hans Gruber: You idiot. It's not the police. It's him.
Theo: Oh my god, the quarterback is toast!
Hans Gruber: I'm going to count to three, there will not be a four. Give me the code.
Holly Gennero McClane: After all your posturing, all your little speeches, you're nothing but a common thief.
Hans Gruber: I am an exceptional thief, Mrs. McClane. And since I'm moving up to kidnapping, you should be more polite.
Hans Gruber: "And when Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer." Benefits of a classical education.
Hans Gruber: When they touch down, we'll blow the roof, they'll spend a month sifting through rubble, and by the time they figure out what went wrong, we'll be sitting on a beach, earning twenty percent.
John McClane: So that's is what this is about, Hans? A fucking robbery?
Hans Gruber: Put down the gun.
John McClane: Why'd you have to nuke the whole building, Hans?
Hans Gruber: Well, when you steal $600, you can just disappear. When you steal 600 million, they will find you, unless they think you're already dead.
Joseph Takagi: You want money? What kind of terrorists are you?
Hans Gruber: Who said we were terrorists?
Hans Gruber: This time John Wayne does not walk off into the sunset with Grace Kelly.
John McClane: That was Gary Cooper, asshole.
Chosen answer: There was never 1 movie that spoofed Die Hard but they were spoofed in many movies. Here is the IMDB link where you can see all the movies they were spoofed in: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095016/movieconnections.
SAZOO1975