Violet Kray: I don't think it's possible to love someone too much but I think you can love them in the wrong way.
Grand High Witch: This stinking little carbuncle has had five hundred doses! Aha, we are having Instantaneous action.
Genie: Hey, Pop! Give me a five! Get down! Get back! Get real! Get a haircut.
Sunny von Bülow: I'm thinking of redecorating this whole fucking house.
Mason Storm: So, how come you're not watching the Oscars tonight?
Counterman: The Oscars?
Mason Storm: Yeah, the Oscars.
Counterman: I hate the Oscars.
Mason Storm: You're not having a good time, huh?
Counterman: I mean, who needs the goddamn movies anyway? I got a show in here every single night.
Mason Storm: Yeah?
Counterman: You've got horror, sex, freaks, violence. I don't got to pay no four bucks either.
Miss Bianca: Come on, darling. Let's get a move out.
Nina: My Feet will want to march to where you are sleeping, but I shall go on living.
Billy Covington: I don't wanna crash twice in one day.
Gene Ryack: Don't worry, I crash better that anyone I know.
Ernest P. Worrell: Did you hear the one about the three legged dog that walked into a bar and said, "I'm lookin' for the guy that shot my paw."
Sgt. Virgil Hoogesteger: I know exactly what I'm gonna do.
Richard Rascal Moore: Oh God, Virg, if I have to hear one more word about that stupid restaurant.
Sgt. Virgil Hoogesteger: It's not stupid! At least I've got a plan! What are you gonna do after the war, huh?
Richard Rascal Moore: Come to your restaurant and rob it.
Eddie Farrell: As Pericles said to the Athenians, "Where do I drain the lizard?"
Father Dyer: May the schwartz be with you.
Patricia: My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know. Everybody you see. Everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake and they live in a state of constant total amazement.
Louis: Rent-a-cops! I hate rent-a-cops too.
Tinker: I'll be in hell for breakfast.
Nora: I say do it. I don't care what, just do it. Jam me, jack me, push me, pull me, talk hard.
Rusty Sabich: Next time you talk to him, tell him to call me so I can find out what's going on in my own fucking investigation. Painless, you tell Molto, and you tell Nico, too, that this is cheap, cheap politics. Cheap Police Department bullshit. God better help them and help you, too, if I can't make a case for tampering.
Carl Stark: Help me.
Burt Simpson: You got to be kidding.
Reggie Hammond: Let me tell you something, Jack. If shit was worth something, poor people would be born with no asshole.