Wadsworth: You see. It's just like the Mounties. We always get our man.
Mr. Green: Mrs. Peacock was a man?!
Jerry Dandrige: Welcome to Fright Night...for real.
Arius: Your father appears to be cooperating. You will be back with him soon. Won't that be nice?
Jenny: Not as nearly as nice as watching him smash your face in.
Harold Smith: Guard, protect and cherish your land, for there is no afterlife for a place that started out as Heaven. Charles M. Russell, Montana, 1926.
Ron Grady: So, what about you and that rich babe you've been cruising to school with every day.
Jesse Walsh: What about her?
Ron Grady: Are you mounting her nightly or what?
Sam Ransom: Is that your head speaking, or another part of your anatomy?
Max Zorin: This will hurt him more than me.
Beth Sladen: I saw a movie once, where a group of people were trapped in an ice station by a carrot from another planet.
Sally Ann: Polly got in one good peck before that cat killed her. Good for Polly.
Hugh: I certainly never realised that Polly had such a big pecker.
Inspector Japp: Poirot, please, before I grow old, retire, and move to Brighton, who is it?
Mark: Thats Eddie Dutra, He's about as much fun as a rabid dog.
Diana: Elvis wouldn't do this, and I knew HIM.
Charlie: You didn't know him! You may have fucked him, but you didn't know HIM.
Manny: I'm at war with the world and everybody in it.
Richard Chance: Can I talk to you for a minute?
Thomas Bateman: You must be a mind-reader. I was just going to call you. I have decided to let Vukovich work with you.
Richard Chance: Do I have a choice?
Thomas Bateman: Oh, is there someone else you'd prefer? You're welcome to fill out a Form 19, and list all the reasons you'd rather not work with him. Your info would be strictly confidential.
Colonel Colin Caine: But I understand your real interest is.
Dr. Hans Fallada: Death, Colonel Caine, correct. Thanatology's the name for it. Death for you, Colonel, is a bureaucratic problem. Who did it. When, why did they do it. A problem to be solved, am I correct?
Colonel Colin Caine: And for you?
Dr. Hans Fallada: Well, I'm fascinated by death itself. What happens as we die, when we die. What happens after we die.
Daulton Lee: How many guys do you know who's best friend is also their priest?
Cooper: Hulse, I want you to put a special mike on him tonight, one that isolates everything he plays from the rest of the orchestra. Carson, you link it into the gblx 1000 computer.
Maddy: The gblx?
Cooper: Yeah. That thing'll break any code.
Maddy: But that's in control of our entire missile defense system.
Cooper: Honey, will you please - what are the odds of the Russians attacking on a Thursday night?
Rachel Lapp: Are you enjoying your reading?
John Book: Oh yeah. I'm learning a lot about manure. Very interesting.